"Why I love you, O Mary"

From Easter 1896 until her death a year and a half later, Therese lived through a night of faith in which she felt alienated from the certainty of Heaven, the heavenly Fatherland, as if by "a wall as tall as the skies". But she saw in Mary, who herself was "plunged into an anguish of the heart", the model of the soul that seeks the Lord "in the night of faith": "For me the Blessed Virgin will never be hidden!"

During a retreat in September 1896, she understood in a new way her call to infinite love: "My vocation is love... Yes, I have found my place in the Church... in the Heart of the Church, my Mother, I will be Love... in this way I will be everything!"

The last poem she wrote in May 1897 was entitled Why I love you, O Mary. In this poem, "I have said all that I would preach about her", she would assert in August, during the most difficult period of her illness. This poem is the fruit of Therese's meditations - she read "mostly the Gospel" to discover Mary "in her real life".

In June 1897, she continued writing the story of her life, known as Manuscript C, dedicated to Mother Prioress Marie de Gonzague. In it, she shows how to live in the darkness ("when only love remains"), the joy of loving as Jesus loves, and the power of prayer "which expands the heart and unites it to Jesus".

She admits that "all my life I've had much trouble saying my rosary":

"No matter how hard I try to meditate on the mysteries of the rosary, I just can't seem to fix my mind... For a long time I was disappointed with myself for this lack of devotion, which surprised me, because I love the Blessed Virgin so much that it should be easy for me to say prayers that honor her and are pleasing to her. Now I feel less sorry; I think that since the Queen of Heaven is my Mother, she must see my good will and be content with it... The Blessed Virgin shows me that she is not angry with me; she never fails to protect me as soon as I invoke her."

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