I spent close to three years discerning my vocation in a Benedictine monastery. This time brought some of the most beautiful moments of my life and some of the most painful moments of my life. (...)
When I was a high school senior in 2002, the clergy sex abuse scandal was making headlines. Six years later, when I joined a Benedictine Abbey, I thought this scandal was over. I was wrong. Sadly, many men had entered religious life not to seek the Lord, but to seek other men. Within a year of my entrance, I came face-to-face with the unwanted advances of a superior on two occasions.
Thanks be to God and Our Lady, I was protected “physically,” but emotionally I was broken. (...) After confronting this superior to leave me alone, I realized that I had to leave my monastery right away. I would have left sooner but I did not want to disappoint God since I was in simple vows. For almost three years since I entered the Abbey, I was riddled with anxiety, mostly due to this superior’s machinations.
Finally having enough, I made a phone call to my brother about my situation. He immediately called my mom and told her to get me. I notified my immediate superior and the prior that I was leaving. And as the monks were praying their evening prayers, I gathered my few belongings. I looked around my now empty cell and for the first time in almost three years, I experienced the most peace I have ever experienced in my life — even to this day! You see, as a child I had always wanted to see Our Lady, but through the years, I realized it was more blessed to believe without seeing (see John 20:29).
I did not see Our Lady or hear her sweet voice in my ears, but she was present. And in my heart, I heard these words, “My son, it is time to go.” Yes, Mary was in my monastic cell on Oct. 4, 2010. She was escorting me to my earthly mother, who was now waiting for me outside the cloister doors.
[...] Although more than 13 years have passed since I experienced Mary’s indescribable peace that October day, the Blessed Mother continues to watch over me and every Catholic who welcomes her into the cloister of their heart. She echoes to each one of us the same words she spoke to St. Juan Diego: “Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health? Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything.”
Patrick O’Hearn, January 5, 2024