Listening to God when praying the Rosary

I think one of the reasons praying the Rosary was difficult for me at first was that I felt guilty about not praying it. As a convert to Catholicism, I had not grown up with the Rosary and it was unfamiliar. Many of my Catholic friends had a devotion to Mary and encouraged me to pray the Rosary. But it was awkward and I often felt like I was doing it wrong. Was I supposed to focus on the intentions or on the Mysteries? Why did I so easily become distracted while praying the Rosary? It seemed daunting to find the fifteen or twenty minutes needed to pray the Rosary on top of my other spiritual commitments. I would often miscount the Hail Marys or forget which Mystery I was on, and it felt more like a duty and less like a prayer. I made promises to myself to say it regularly, but inevitably my “rosary habit” would lose steam and it would become a burden or a box to be checked off.

I shared my frustrations with a dear and holy friend of mine. This friend had a longtime devotion to the Rosary. Her advice was interesting. She told me that I should put aside praying the Rosary for a while, suggesting that I find other prayers that might come more naturally and to ask the Blessed Mother to help me find those prayers. “Let God lead you in prayer,” my friend said. While I was grateful for her sincere encouragement, I didn’t know exactly what she meant. But I did set aside the Rosary and began to focus on other means of prayer. I tried to remember to ask the Blessed Mother for help in prayer and to be open to where God was leading me.

I can’t recall when it happened or that it was any dramatic moment, but at some point, I began to pray the Rosary again.

Then, one day, while praying the Luminous Mysteries in the car, the Holy Spirit reminded me of a recent incident and showed me how much I suffered from the sin of pride. All of a sudden, I could recognize pridefulness in many areas of my life. How had I not noticed it before? This new self-knowledge prompted in me a strong desire to go to confession.

Looking back now, I believe that the prayers of the Rosary brought me face-to-face with myself and—more importantly—with the face of Christ.

St. John Paul II addressed one of the mistakes we make when we pray the Rosary: “If the repetition is considered superficially, there could be a temptation to see the Rosary as dry and boring.” Instead, he said, we should think of it as an “outpouring of love.” We should listen while we pray and not just recite the words: “It is not a matter of recalling information but of allowing God to speak.”

That was my problem. In the past, I recited the Rosary. I didn’t listen. I wasn’t allowing God to speak.

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