Let us discover one of the crucial sources of unity in Mary and Joseph’s marriage: both lived the obedience of the faith which opened for them broader perspectives and helped them consent to a destiny that gave a new orientation to their lives. Maybe it forced them to redefine their roles, but we can be sure that it made their union stronger. Living a just life before God is a source of unity.
Later, when the Child stayed behind in Jerusalem, Mary and Joseph, who were terribly worried, did not fall for the common temptation of couples, of blaming the other for their problems. (Recriminations bring no solution and oftentimes create new problems.) They sought Jesus and suffered together: "My son," Mary said to Jesus, "why did you do this to us? See how your father and I were anxiously looking for you!"(Lk 2:48) Both shared an intense communion of feelings.
Another reason that created this union was the common exercise of the mission. After finding Jesus in the temple, they went down to Nazareth, where Jesus "was subject to them." Until the age of majority, he lived under an authority which, as the etymology of the word suggests, is something that makes one grow. One who knows how to obey will know how to command. And as we have seen, Mary and Joseph knew how to obey.
Pablo Largo Dominguez
Excerpt from María, microcosmos de relaciones,
Ephemerides Mariologicae, ISSN 0425-1466, Vol. 57, Nº. 1, 2007, pages. 67-100